Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
