My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
