we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
