didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
