I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
