I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
50% drunk capacity currently
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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