just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
