He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
