why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
