At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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