a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is it fun? or sober?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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