can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
