don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
