You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize