I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
