there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
