dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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