Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she pinky promised me she was 18
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
