the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
