U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
