i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
