could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
