Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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