Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you had me at cake vodka
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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