The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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