so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize