Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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