He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
