Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
