There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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