thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
