Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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