if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize