I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
