Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
