I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
