so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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