Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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