I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
