You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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