She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
