Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
