Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
