Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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