I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
