speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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