did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
