My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
