i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
