Sponge bath it is.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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