I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize