i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
