the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize