First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
