True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
