I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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