I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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