im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
