theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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