I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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