is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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