I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She's the barista slut.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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