Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
